Megan Rachel

A child-centered divorce keeps the children at the center of the action without putting them in the middle of the divorce.

During a child-centered divorce, the parents keep the focus on resolving the divorce without emotionally damaging the children.  Consequently, engaging in a child-centered divorce action can limit the negative impact a divorce can have on children.  Children generally will adjust to the fact that their parents are divorcing, but they will adjust much better in the long run if parents can work through the divorce putting their children’s needs first and foremost.

While the emotional turmoil and explosive arguments between divorcing parents may not have an overall impact on the divorce itself, it can have a devastatingly negative impact on the children.

During the divorce, parents should agree to not argue in front of the children.  In addition, remember that just because the children may not be in the same room as you and your spouse, does not mean that cannot hear the arguing between you and your spouse.  So, don’t argue in front of the children, but also do not argue within the hearing of the children.

Remember this, children are children and should never have to worry about adult things.

Don’t talk to them about the divorce.  Don’t say negative things about the other parent either to or in the presence of or hearing of the children.  Don’t ask their advice or input regarding anything relating to the divorce and do not use them to deliver messages or anything else to the other parent.

It is important for children to understand that even though you and their other parent are divorcing, the child will continue to be loved and cherished by you both.  You and the other parent should work together as team both during the divorce and afterwards to ensure that your children continue to feel as loved, secure, happy and as untroubled as possible.

Let them know often that it is important to you that they have a positive relationship with the other parent Let them know that both you and the other parent are committed to ensure that their life during and after divorce will change as little as possible.

In light of the above, it is important to note that litigating your divorce in court usually ends up pitting you and your spouse against each other.

Litigation is an adversarial process and inevitably you and your spouse will treat each other as adversaries.  This can make reaching your goal of a child centered divorce difficult at best.  Whether you are just contemplating divorce or have made the decision that divorce is inevitable, look into the Collaborative Divorce process whereby you and your spouse work together with your attorneys and team neutrals to come to a final resolution which is best for everyone but first and foremost the children.

How you hand your divorce now can have a profound effect on how your child relates to you and the other parent in the future.

Contact me online or call 214-396-2048 to schedule a consultation to discuss your family law needs today.

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One of the strengths about texting while divorcing is that it does not require a conversation that could get out of hand. One of the weaknesses is that texting can feel anonymous and that is the farthest thing from the truth.

If you or your spouse has made the decision to file for divorce keep in mind that anything you text (or email) to your spouse can very possibly be entered into evidence at a temporary order hearing or a final trial.  Depending on what is said in the text messages it could affect the Judge’s decision regarding issues such as custody of or possession of and access to the children, division of assets spousal support, etc.

Following are a few tips to help you in making sure that you do not put something in a text or email that can be used against you later in court.

Hopefully, these tips will keep you from saying something out of anger or frustration to your soon to be ex-spouse that could come back to haunt you later.

1. Take the time to think about what you are texting.  Do not send a text when you are angry, hurt or frustrated.  Nothing good can come from attacking your spouse via text no matter how angry or hurt you may be.
2. Before you hit the send button ask yourself if this is something you would want the Judge to see during a hearing or trial. If not, don’t send.
3. If your spouse is texting you rude, hateful or nasty comments don’t respond in kind.  Do save the texts in case your attorney may want to use them.
4. Just because your soon to be ex sends you a text, does not mean you have to respond.  Do not engage with your spouse in a back-and-forth text exchange especially when he/she is texting an attempt to bait you into an argument.
5. Don’t think you can send offensive texts and then save yourself by deleting the text.  Just because you deleted it does not mean our soon to be ex did.

In addition to the above know also that is not just texts or emails you send your soon to be ex that can be used against you.  It is any text or any email you may send to anybody that relates to your spouse, your children or what may be happening in relation to your divorce.

You can effectively use texting during a divorce for simply coordinating schedules.  Short texts with no emotion to confirm times or schedules can make for smoother communication and helps the divorce process to move forward.

Contact me online or call 214-396-2048 to schedule a consultation to discuss your family law needs today.