5 Tips For Texting Your Spouse During Divorce

One of the strengths about texting while divorcing is that it does not require a conversation that could get out of hand. One of the weaknesses is that texting can feel anonymous and that is the farthest thing from the truth. 

If you or your spouse has made the decision to file for divorce keep in mind that anything you text (or email) to your spouse can very possibly be entered into evidence at a temporary order hearing or a final trial.  Depending on what is said in the text messages it could affect the Judge’s decision regarding issues such as custody of or possession of and access to the children, division of assets spousal support, etc.  

Following are a few tips to help you in making sure that you do not put something in a text or email that can be used against you later in court.  

Hopefully, these tips will keep you from saying something out of anger or frustration to your soon to be ex-spouse that could come back to haunt you later.  

  1. Take the time to think about what you are texting.  Do not send a text when you are angry, hurt or frustrated.  Nothing good can come from attacking your spouse via text no matter how angry or hurt you may be.
  2. Before you hit the send button ask yourself if this is something you would want the Judge to see during a hearing or trial. If not, don’t send.
  3. If your spouse is texting you rude, hateful or nasty comments don’t respond in kind.  Do save the texts in case your attorney may want to use them.
  4. Just because your soon to be ex sends you a text, does not mean you have to respond.  Do not engage with your spouse in a back-and-forth text exchange especially when he/she is texting an attempt to bait you into an argument.    
  5. Don’t think you can send offensive texts and then save yourself by deleting the text.  Just because you deleted it does not mean our soon to be ex did.

In addition to the above know also that is not just texts or emails you send your soon to be ex that can be used against you.  It is any text or any email you may send to anybody that relates to your spouse, your children or what may be happening in relation to your divorce.  

You can effectively use texting during a divorce for simply coordinating schedules.  Short texts with no emotion to confirm times or schedules can make for smoother communication and helps the divorce process to move forward. 

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